cindy246

Okay….Everyone (experts) say you have to deal with issues that happened in your life to help beat the weight. So for the last several months I have been debated what MY issues are. Lordy there are plenty! So now I have uncovered some issues that might explain my weight gain. So now what do I do. How do you deal with issues that happened in the past so they are no longer issues. One of mine is a bad 7 yr marriage to my ex. He was emotionally abusive. I remember him telling me (not asking but TELLING) me to lose weight and I had got very defensive about it. Mind you he was in prison at the time so I lied to him told him I was losing and in fact I was gaining. I remember thinking “FAT??? You want to see FAT…I’ll show you fat” That is one point in my life I gained alot of weight. Now I think back and say I wasnt fat 150 lbs. Compared to my 260 lbs now. I wasnt FAT. I hate him!! He has been out of my life for 9 years now. He has no clue where I am or even how to track me down. So there is an issue…his emotional abuse.

Now the question is…I have uncovered 1 of my issues, how do I deal with it??? I thought I have dealt with him and what he has done to me emotionally to me. But I guess not specially since I am tearing up writing this and thinking about what I went thru with him. Not only was the weight and issue with him but he has left me with sexual issues that has interferred with my life now with my current husband (going on 9 years of marriage). My ex has scarred my life in so many ways it would take pages to tell everything.

How do I deal with it??   I can think of a couple more issues that might be behind my weight problems. So I uncovered issues…….Now What???????  Any ideas would be great!!

Ok here I go again. (LOL. Like the old Whitesnake song but I’m talking about something different. Boy that song just shows how old I am. LOL) Since I started this site I lost 20 pounds started 270 got to 250. Then along came Halloween (I did ok) then Thanksgiving (again I did ok) Christmas is another story….I am one of those that bakes, bakes, bakes and bakes some more. Family and Friends wait for thier Christmas tin from me. Wait and EXPECT. Specially family since my grandmother can no longer stand and bake cookies and candies I guess its been handed down to me which is fine b/c I LOVE to bake. I also LOVE to eat the fruit of my labor. So I knew I could defeat it so I quit worring about my weight Xmas and of course I gained 10 pounds back. (Now I am at 260) Actually I did better then I thought.

So now I need to start again. We have moved and my gym is no longer 5 minutes away its more like 30 minutes away. My hubby has some kind of work out machine at his work. Sounds likes its kinda like an ellipitcal machine. Then his boss no longer wants and said my hubby can have. Now he just needs to bring home.

No more excuses and I have a pocket full of them. I have plenty I can do in the house for excercise. (I live in Northern Indiana) and its way too cold and snowy to go for walks. But I do have a handful of Leslie Sansone Walk tapes and I also have a stepper for step aerobics. Now this new machine my dh has to bring home.

I need to learn how to eat again. Stop the SWEETS and SODA. My 2 biggest downfalls. I wanted to start a blog for my day to day thoughts. i belong to CafeMom which I love but I ahve to watch what I post because my stepdaughter is on that as well. I dont want to blog something just venting about the stepkids or my dh and have her read it and take it the wrong way, Yet I think I need somewhere to write and get opinions and ecouragment. I had forgotten about this site so here I am. 

I have lots to say some about weight issues some about everyday issues that might be holding my weightloss back or the issues might somehow affect my weight or be because of my weight.  Therefore, for the next couple days thier are going to be alot of blogs getting all this out. Some will be long. Like this one is turning out to be. So you can read them or not…….Your choice I just need to write.

Thank Ya    Thank Ya